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ununoriginalsometimes we jus have to be amazed at the resilience of the human spirit, and trust tat time will eventually blunt the edge of resentment. work has settled down, in a way, the waves created by the 3 resignations dying down. each therapist have left quietly one by one each week, anti-climactically.
and with their departure, it feels like some of the emotional upheaval has departed with them. of course the doubts remain, but they are more muted - and the desire to jus up and go has lessened. one always has to remind onself that 人比人，气死人. as long as wat i have is enuff for myself at this point in time, then i shouldn't be too 在意. it's not as if my pay and my job grade is an accurate reflection of my abilities - like wat an ex-colleague once said: 'if i believed every shitty thing the seniors/management said about me, then i might as well jump off a building.' i'll jus gain more experience here in various areas, esp administratively, now that there is such a dearth of senior staff to perform these duties, then take these skills that i've learned and MOVE ON!
in other news, 2 of my patients really made me think todae.
one of them was a young girl who jumped from a building and, of course, ended up in hospital. when asked why she wanted to commit suicide, she said her mother stressed her out with her endless nagging. it's really sad when parents aren't sensitive enuff to their children that they dun realise they're forcing their kids into a corner with their actions and behaviour.
apparently her parents immigrated here from another country, and cuz of tat are very strictly traditional, and thus expect their children to observe the same traditions they did when they were younger. but it doesn't apply when u've plonked urself and ur family in a much more liberal society. if everyone was doing the same old conservative stuff, then fine - it's accepted as the norm, but it's royally unfair to expose ur children to the freedom of choice that surrounds them - in terms of work, love, education, etc - then impose the unreasonable restriction of demanding utter obedience to ur own wishes upon them.
the other kid was assaulted and hospitalised because, i suspect, he was a transvestite. i've seen and met drag queens b4 back in perth when i went clubbing with my gay frens, and it feels like it was no big deal, cuz they were in their own comfort/safety zone. but todae in the hospital, it was as if there was a bubble surrounding the boy, isolating him from everyone else. ppl jus went quiet at the sight of him, and conversation felt forced and jus... awkward. i have to admit tat even i fell back into my professional persona cuz i wasn't really sure wat to say.
but putting myself into his shoes (which were pink slippers with spangled sequins, btw, LOLZ!), i really have to respect his courage - to be able to face the world, the ppl around him, and society in general, as who he truly is, and to weather their reactions. going thru each day experiencing such suffocating ostracism, i find tat incredibly brave.
and with their departure, it feels like some of the emotional upheaval has departed with them. of course the doubts remain, but they are more muted - and the desire to jus up and go has lessened. one always has to remind onself that 人比人，气死人. as long as wat i have is enuff for myself at this point in time, then i shouldn't be too 在意. it's not as if my pay and my job grade is an accurate reflection of my abilities - like wat an ex-colleague once said: 'if i believed every shitty thing the seniors/management said about me, then i might as well jump off a building.' i'll jus gain more experience here in various areas, esp administratively, now that there is such a dearth of senior staff to perform these duties, then take these skills that i've learned and MOVE ON!
in other news, 2 of my patients really made me think todae.
one of them was a young girl who jumped from a building and, of course, ended up in hospital. when asked why she wanted to commit suicide, she said her mother stressed her out with her endless nagging. it's really sad when parents aren't sensitive enuff to their children that they dun realise they're forcing their kids into a corner with their actions and behaviour.
apparently her parents immigrated here from another country, and cuz of tat are very strictly traditional, and thus expect their children to observe the same traditions they did when they were younger. but it doesn't apply when u've plonked urself and ur family in a much more liberal society. if everyone was doing the same old conservative stuff, then fine - it's accepted as the norm, but it's royally unfair to expose ur children to the freedom of choice that surrounds them - in terms of work, love, education, etc - then impose the unreasonable restriction of demanding utter obedience to ur own wishes upon them.
the other kid was assaulted and hospitalised because, i suspect, he was a transvestite. i've seen and met drag queens b4 back in perth when i went clubbing with my gay frens, and it feels like it was no big deal, cuz they were in their own comfort/safety zone. but todae in the hospital, it was as if there was a bubble surrounding the boy, isolating him from everyone else. ppl jus went quiet at the sight of him, and conversation felt forced and jus... awkward. i have to admit tat even i fell back into my professional persona cuz i wasn't really sure wat to say.
but putting myself into his shoes (which were pink slippers with spangled sequins, btw, LOLZ!), i really have to respect his courage - to be able to face the world, the ppl around him, and society in general, as who he truly is, and to weather their reactions. going thru each day experiencing such suffocating ostracism, i find tat incredibly brave.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-04 05:17 am (UTC)Can sympathise the two cases you mentioned.. especially the second one, he really steady, got the courage to show to society what he believes he is.. I share your sentiments.. if only those people who did whatever body harm to him be more understanding.. hope we'll learn from this boy and stand up to our beliefs in ourselves, our family and work.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-04 05:19 am (UTC)