diffused anger is the worst
Apr. 8th, 2004 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ununoriginalAfter one has a period of good days, the cycle always, inevitably swings down. if there’s one concept I’m beginning to deeply believe in, it’s definitely the pendulum. I think rite now I’m passing thru the down-phase of the swing at work >_< today was a classic BAD workday.
I only managed to attend to half of the patients on my list, as the other half had decided it was a bad day for them too, developed ‘attitudes’, and refused treatment, thus ruining my day in the process. It wasted shitloads of my time, and only got me a heap of verbal abuse and possible physical violence thrown in my face.
this is actually not the worst thing. The worst thing is that when such things happen, one wants to righteously fume at them for their unreasonable and short-sighted behaviour - (they’re stupid idiots, aren’t they? It’s their fucking lives, rite? And if they want to ruin it, if they want to jus lie there and rot away, then by all means, be my guest! Rite?!) – BUT, no, I can’t even properly do that! Cuz, at the bottom of it all, I end up seeing it from their pov, which basically is, life sucks, big-time, all of a sudden. And u can’t guarantee that if I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t act the same way. Wat would u do if one day u woke up and realised that u can’t move one side of ur body, or that there’s something seriously wrong with your head?
And cuz i end up feeling rather sorry for them, for their plight and for their depression, i can’t possibly stay self-righteous and pissed rite? So wat I’m left with is an ambiguous, vaguely pissed mess of resentment and 委屈ness that is directed more at me than at them. Which is, as my fellow colleague specialising in psychiatry tells me, is some form of transference from patient to me that is probably not healthy >_<
Bloody occupational hazard… bleaaaarhh!!! >____< we’re not supposed to take these things personally, which we all prob understand on an intellectual basis. So even if I noe that the patient is reacting more to the situation than to me, it doesn’t reduce the ‘suck’ factor any. It’s still enuff to make it a BAD day. One is more than enuff, let alone 2 in a row! AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate dealing with inpatients. thankfully the sucky morning was partially made up for with a decent quiet afternoon downstairs with my dear, sweet outpatients. at least, outpatients come of their own volition. i dun have to go around from bed to bed trying to coax ungrateful SOB's into therapy.
if there is a god out there, please let her take me out of inpatient work and i shall be her fervent religious follower for life.
I only managed to attend to half of the patients on my list, as the other half had decided it was a bad day for them too, developed ‘attitudes’, and refused treatment, thus ruining my day in the process. It wasted shitloads of my time, and only got me a heap of verbal abuse and possible physical violence thrown in my face.
this is actually not the worst thing. The worst thing is that when such things happen, one wants to righteously fume at them for their unreasonable and short-sighted behaviour - (they’re stupid idiots, aren’t they? It’s their fucking lives, rite? And if they want to ruin it, if they want to jus lie there and rot away, then by all means, be my guest! Rite?!) – BUT, no, I can’t even properly do that! Cuz, at the bottom of it all, I end up seeing it from their pov, which basically is, life sucks, big-time, all of a sudden. And u can’t guarantee that if I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t act the same way. Wat would u do if one day u woke up and realised that u can’t move one side of ur body, or that there’s something seriously wrong with your head?
And cuz i end up feeling rather sorry for them, for their plight and for their depression, i can’t possibly stay self-righteous and pissed rite? So wat I’m left with is an ambiguous, vaguely pissed mess of resentment and 委屈ness that is directed more at me than at them. Which is, as my fellow colleague specialising in psychiatry tells me, is some form of transference from patient to me that is probably not healthy >_<
Bloody occupational hazard… bleaaaarhh!!! >____< we’re not supposed to take these things personally, which we all prob understand on an intellectual basis. So even if I noe that the patient is reacting more to the situation than to me, it doesn’t reduce the ‘suck’ factor any. It’s still enuff to make it a BAD day. One is more than enuff, let alone 2 in a row! AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate dealing with inpatients. thankfully the sucky morning was partially made up for with a decent quiet afternoon downstairs with my dear, sweet outpatients. at least, outpatients come of their own volition. i dun have to go around from bed to bed trying to coax ungrateful SOB's into therapy.
if there is a god out there, please let her take me out of inpatient work and i shall be her fervent religious follower for life.
