a little shock every time
Jan. 23rd, 2004 10:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ununoriginalwell, this has been the quietest cny i've had yet. also the first one where i've ever spent at the a&e as the clock struck 12 and the yr of the monkey was ushered in.
my grandma had gastritis and had to be admitted, and the thing is, since one works in a hospital, you would think one would be better prepared for the situation - what to do, what to say, what to expect. and then it turns out - i'm not better than the average joe/jane.
the largest fear that i have as a health-care worker has always been - selfish as that sounds - that something like what happens to my patients could happen to me and mine. i dunno where my colleagues or other frens in my profession get their foundation for continuing to work here, but my base has always been that my family and i are healthy - we're independent and coping well.
it's not a comfortable feeling to have to face that my grandma has been getting old, and that her health is failing. sometimes it feels so sudden, that i turned around for but a moment and she's aged so, but i've been away from home so often - haven't lived with her for so long - that the process has passed me by. it's like a little shock every time.
well, anyway, she's ok now, and out of the hospital, being her old cranky, grumbling self *note that it is said with relief* but all in all, it felt like this whole event was seen thru someone else's eyes - i have the feeling i haven't accepted it yet, the reality of her age, the possibility that she might pass on. but then again, who, in this time and age that worships youth and beauty and strength, ever really wants to accept that one day we all grow old and die?
and procrastinator that i am, i shall leave this to ponder another day. for now, my grandma is FINE.
and i've always wanted to try this...
i guess it's not a bad colour - tho i'd much prefer something bluish :p
my grandma had gastritis and had to be admitted, and the thing is, since one works in a hospital, you would think one would be better prepared for the situation - what to do, what to say, what to expect. and then it turns out - i'm not better than the average joe/jane.
the largest fear that i have as a health-care worker has always been - selfish as that sounds - that something like what happens to my patients could happen to me and mine. i dunno where my colleagues or other frens in my profession get their foundation for continuing to work here, but my base has always been that my family and i are healthy - we're independent and coping well.
it's not a comfortable feeling to have to face that my grandma has been getting old, and that her health is failing. sometimes it feels so sudden, that i turned around for but a moment and she's aged so, but i've been away from home so often - haven't lived with her for so long - that the process has passed me by. it's like a little shock every time.
well, anyway, she's ok now, and out of the hospital, being her old cranky, grumbling self *note that it is said with relief* but all in all, it felt like this whole event was seen thru someone else's eyes - i have the feeling i haven't accepted it yet, the reality of her age, the possibility that she might pass on. but then again, who, in this time and age that worships youth and beauty and strength, ever really wants to accept that one day we all grow old and die?
and procrastinator that i am, i shall leave this to ponder another day. for now, my grandma is FINE.
and i've always wanted to try this...
#FFFACD |
Your dominant hues are red and green, so you're definately not afraid to get in and stir things up. You have no time for most people's concerns, you'd rather analyze with your head than be held back by some random "gut feeling". Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation. |
i guess it's not a bad colour - tho i'd much prefer something bluish :p
